Showing posts with label firsts after a death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label firsts after a death. Show all posts

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Brennan’s Birthday


Jamie and my nieces came to my house for a week. My nieces had a gymnastics camp at the University of Georgia.

     I remembered Brennan—her son who had died shortly after birth—would have been five years old on June 17. I did not know what to do or say because Jamie would be at my house on his birthday. 

     I didn’t want her to think I didn’t know what that date meant, but I didn’t want to upset her. I called Jennifer, and she suggested I not say anything unless Jamie seemed upset. Paul said the same thing, so I let the day pass without mentioning it.

     Jamie went home, but I wanted to ask her what she would have liked me to do. Her answer can help others. I prayed before calling because I did not want to say anything wrong. 

     “I knew—.”

     My throat choked like a locomotor running out of stream.

     “I knew it was Brennan’s birthday, but I did not know if I should have said or done anything. Would you want me to say anything if I remembered his birthday again?” 

     “You can acknowledge it was his birthday, but I would not want to go into an in-depth conversation. Chris and I would talk about it being his birthday, but we wouldn’t do anything. I don’t expect you to call.” 

     Again, the words to the song “Say” rang true. 

     I spoke to Evelyn and her sister about this topic. They said I didn’t need to let the day go unnoticed.  

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Another first



On September 23rd, Mom and Dad would have celebrated their anniversary.  It’s just another first and many more to follow.  I did not call any of my sisters to ask them what they were going to do.  At first, I thought I would send Dad his favorite cookies.  Then, I thought I would get the kids to send him a card.  But when time ran out to do either of those, I thought I would just e-mail him a letter.  I wrote him and just told him what was going on with the family and said, “I love you.”

U  What can you do to make the many “firsts” easier for your loved one?  U