Brennan’s birthday

 

Last week Jamie, Kaitlin, and Juliette came to my house for the week because the girls had gymnastic camp at the University of Georgia.  I remembered Brennan would have been five years old on June 17^th.  I did not know what to do or say because Jamie would be at my house on his birthday.  I did not want her to think I did not know what that date meant, but I also did not want to upset her either.  I called Jennifer and asked her what I should do.  She suggested I not say anything unless she seemed upset.  Paul told me he would not say anything either.  So, I let the day pass without saying anything.

After she left, I debated or whether to call her or not and ask her what she would have liked me to do.  I knew you and I would gain valuable information if I did call her.  I prayed before I called her because again I did not want to say the wrong thing.  It took me forever to ask her what I wanted to because I was starting to get upset, and I did not want her to cry.  This was not an easy topic to talk about.

I told her I knew it was Brennan’s birthday, but I did not know whether to say or do anything.  I asked her if I remembered Brennan’s birthday again, would she want me to say anything.  She said I could acknowledge it was his birthday, but she would not want to go in an in-depth conversation about it.  She said they (she and Chris) mention it and talk about it as being his birthday, but they don’t do anything.  She also said she did not expect me to call.  Again the words to the song “Say” ring true to me.

U  What should be said or done if you are with someone on the anniversary of their loved one’s death, especially a child?  U

I also spoke to Evelyn and Cookie (Evelyn’s half-sister) about this topic.  They both basically said I don’t need to let the day go by unnoticed.  Cookie told me on the anniversary of her husband’s death, three friends call her.  One friend calls and says, “This is the day for me to call you.”  Another friend calls and says, “I was just thinking about you today.”  While another friend calls and says, “We need to go eat one night this week.”  They don’t really say anything else concerning it being the anniversary of his death.