Get ‘er done (part II)

Dad’s scans came back fine which means the cancer was contained in his prostate.  Great news!  He has decided on the robotic surgery which will be April 1^st.  I went ahead and told the kids since Dad’s prognosis was good.  The phrase he has used the last couple of times I have talked to him was, “Get ‘er done.”  The four girls bought him a tee shirt with that saying on it to give to him along with some other goodies before his surgery.

I drove to the hospital in Atlanta where Dad was having his surgery.  Claudia, Jennifer, and Grady also came.  While sitting in the waiting room for Dad to get out of surgery, there were a lot of other people waiting for their loved one to get out of surgery also.  It was a big room, and it seemed very impersonal to sit and watch doctors come and go informing those waiting for their loved one’s prognosis.  A particular group of people were very loud and frequently laughed.  One lady was extremely loud.  I thought the lady should have had a little more respect for the other people in the waiting room.  Yes, her loved may have had a simple non-life-threatening surgery, but what about those around her?  Someone else’s surgery could have been life-threatening.

U  Are you being considerate of others as you are sitting in a waiting room?  U

Dad’s surgery went great.  The doctor took out Dad’s whole prostate.  He will have to come back for a follow-up visit and get his blood checked again.  When they check his blood, they use a PSA (prostate specific antigen) test.  The PSA test is the most effective test for early detection of prostate cancer.  The test measures how much PSA is in his bloodstream.  Dad’s PSA number came back .007, hardly detected at all.  He will have to continue to get his blood checked to make sure the cancer does not come back.  Dad said, “I didn’t get a get out of jail free card.”  I laughed!!

I don’t want to know anymore (part II)

Mom is not eating or drinking orally for now.  Again, Mom had to sacrifice something.  This time the joy of being able to taste food especially her favorite foods.  Imagine craving a pizza, a milkshake, or seafood, and now you can’t ever satisfy that craving again.  Mom loved a cup of Coke without ice.  The doctor said she can eat or drink as much as she could tolerate.  Joann said before the surgery her eyes were sunken, and she did not have any color.  She said she looks much better now, and if Mom did not have the surgery she may have already died.  The surgery has bought her some time.

U   Are you being sensitive concerning not eating or drinking around your loved one if they can no longer eat or drink?  U

Dad is still figuring out what to do with Mom’s care.  Joann said if Dad sends her to a Hospice facility, he might as well go ahead and drive in the nail because she will give up.  She said Mom loves for Dad to take care of her.  This is funny because she did not want him to at first or at least she did not want him to stay home from work. 

Joann told me the small details like: Mom liking to suck on the corner of a wet rag; that she could not control her head any more, and restroom issues.  One of the funniest things Joann told me was Mom said she has an emergency.  The emergency was Mom wanted her head to be scratched.  I just think that is so cute.  She said Mom still has her spunk.  She told me Mom was concerned about Joann leaving her purse here and there while at the hospital.  Joann said her purse was attached to the wheelchair, and if someone wanted to take it then they would get a whirl.  It is funny Mom, in her weak state, would think of Joann and use such effort to speak with her weak voice.

Joann said she did not know if I would be able to handle Mom by myself.  I have two bulging discs and arthritis in my neck.  She seems to think I will mess up my back, which makes me even more determined I can do it.

U  Are there small details you can pass on about assisting your loved one?  U

I don’t want to know anymore (part I)

 

One of the hard things concerning Mom’s health worsening is what exactly I should tell my children.  I had just told them about the feeding tube and if she was in the hospital they may not be able to see her.  Ashton told me I could videotape her then show him the tape so he could see her. 

We read the kids their devotion tonight, and the story was about Sapphira and Ananias being deceitful.  The result was they both died.  Afterward, Lauren asked to see the devotion book.  She took the book and looked over it for a few minutes.  She said she did not like the devotion because it reminded her of Granny (because they had died).  When I went into her room to tell her goodnight I wanted to update her on Mom’s condition and prepare her for the upcoming week.  When I started speaking she replied, “I don’t want to know anymore.”  She knew it wasn’t going to be good news and would rather block it out instead of hearing what I had to say.

U   Have you put careful thought into telling children information about the loved one?  U

U  Are you being careful not to bring up conversations about the loved one around a sensitive child?   U

I talked with Joann today so I would know all the ins and outs about Mom.  She said Mom had not left the house since she got back from the hospital.  Mom now has a hospital bed at the house and uses a different room to sleep in.  The room has Mom’s bed, Dad’s single bed, and a few chairs for the visitors that come to see her.  A few people from Mom’s church came over today and did a short Sunday school lesson and sang a few songs.  Jamie told me the people from Mom’s church “were loving on her”.  She said someone had manicured Dad’s front lawn while they were gone.  One morning, Dad went to get the paper to notice someone had already gotten it for them and also dropped off some Danishes at the back door.

Joann said Mom basically stays in her pajamas when people come over to see her.  Joann went through Mom’s pajamas and threw out the old and yucky ones.   She bought her some new ones Mom could wear as visitors came by.  She even offered to get her dressed to wheel her around the block, but Mom did not get out.  I asked her if Mom went to church.  When Jamie asked Mom if they were going to church, Mom responded in a way that sounded as if it was not an option.  She said Mom has never taken her wheelchair into church, so she did not know if Mom was embarrassed or what.  My goal this weekend is to get Mom out of the house.  I want to build up her time out of the house, so she may consider going to see, The Passion, with me.

Note:  Photo by my daughter Lauren Glenn.