Ever since Mom has been diagnosed, she has not wanted to read up on the disease because she would rather not know. She had a doctor’s visit coming up at the Mayo Clinic (they help diagnose and treat difficult medical problems) and did not want to go, but Dad made her. These visits are very important because they can give her imformation about the necessary equipment she currently needs or will need in the future.
During one of these visits, Joann, and Jennifer went with her. Jennifer was very helpful because she knew certain questions to ask and issues to bring up. One of the things we wanted the doctor to bring up was Mom’s wishes as to whether or not she wanted to be placed on a ventilator and other medical issues. They did not want to bring it up in front of Mom, so they made up an excuse to go to the bathroom while at the doctor’s office. While the doctor was in the hall, they asked her to bring up the issues. Someone had told Joann that you don’t want to bring certain issues up because the person will hold it against you.
U Are there sensitive issues or questions you can get medical personnel to bring up? U
Mom had a will but not a living will. She told the doctor and my sisters she knew where she was going when she died (to Heaven) and did not want to be placed on a ventilator. This is another difficult decision Mom had to make. They even discussed issues about her being in a car wreck and whether or not she wanted medical help. When we put her in the car, she would blow off wearing her seatbelt. I don’t know if it is because she did not care if she died, or she thought it did not matter anymore. It bothered me, and I would still make her wear it by strapping her in.
I think she was headed in the direction of Do Not Resuscitate (DNR). At the last visit, we wanted to ask how much time she had left to live. At this point they told us six months to a year, but there was no guarantee. Mom still does not know we are aware of the shorter time frame nor does she.
U Does your loved one have a will and where is it located? U
U Is the will updated to their current wishes? (I know of a lady whose father passed away from cancer. He only lived six months after diagnoses. He wanted to give his daughters money for their retirement. One week he was fine, and the next week he was being air lifted to a hospital and put on a ventilator. He never changed his will, and their step-mom got all the money. Time is of essence because people do not know when their last day will be.) U
Discussion of a few important terms is needed here. A living will is a document that lists medical and life sustaining treatments the seriously ill or terminally ill person desires.
U Does your loved one have a living will? U
The executor of the will is the person that legally must follow the wishes of the deceased listed in the will and settles their estate. They deal with issues such as paying taxes, settling debts, and distributing assets.
U Who is the executor of the will and have they been explained their duty as to what they need to do when the loved one passes away? U
Five Wishes is a living will that deals with issues such as: the person they want to make decisions for them when they can’t make it for themselves, medical treatment, how they wish to be treated, and other important wishes.
U Do you know their Five Wishes? U
U Has your loved one considered giving the gift of life by being an organ donor? (Some medical conditions will prevent organ donations but donation is still a possibility for other chronic medical conditions or diseases.) U
U Have they considered an advance directive or a durable power of attorney for health care? U
An advance directive is a legal document that allows one to express their wishes if they are too hurt or ill to do so. A durable power of attorney (DPA) for health care is a document that names the person to make health decisions if they are unable to do so.
U Have you considered going to an attorney to find out what you need to know and what your rights are concerning a DPA for health care? U
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