One thing after another

One thing after another was slowly being stripped away from Mom.  At first, Mom was having tingling going down her left arm.  Soon she could not move two fingers on her left hand.  She then loss all muscle control in her left arm, so it just hung there paralyzed.  Lauren made the comment to Mom that it was okay for her to only be able to hug with one arm.

U      Have you thought about getting a second opinion on the diagnosis from the doctor? (One doctor had the wrong diagnosis and wanted to do surgery on her hand.)  U  

Slowly the disease crept into her right arm.  She is right-handed, so she is still able to feed herself and do some chores.  Mom went to part-time work at the church where she had been secretary for more than twenty-five years.  She struggled starting the car because it was difficult for her to turn the key.  Her independence was first stripped away when she could not drive anymore.

The paralysis in her arm was such that she would struggle to eat.  I knew she was very independent, but I hated watching her struggle to get the food on her fork.  She did not like to ask for help nor did we know when to offer.  My sisters and I discussed letting Mom do things if she said she could do it even though she was struggling.  She would lower her head almost to the level of the table because she could barely lift the food to her mouth.  Soon she started asking for help to feed her and eventually she had to be totally dependent on us.  She would have to tell us what food she wanted to eat with the next bite and when she wanted something to drink.  A common sight was glasses of water with straws in it all over the house because she could not hold a glass anymore.

U   Can you discuss with your loved one the issue concerning when they would like you to help them?  U

The disease slowly started to take her legs and the muscles in her neck.  She has to wear a brace to hold her neck up or her head would just hang down.  Everything has to be done for her now.  She has to have someone physically get her out of bed in the mornings, dress her, brush her teeth, take her to the bathroom, and the hardest part was to brush her hair just the way she liked it.  I think after a billion times of doing it, I finally can do it right!!  She got her hair cut real short so we could better take care of it.

U  Is there a person you know whom could suggest equipment to aid your loved one?  (Mom had a friend that worked in rehab, and she would help Mom get the things she needed.)  U

Mom sleeps a lot now, and there is a lot of idle time because she can’t get up and down by herself.  People have been getting Mom books on tape so she can listen to them.  I bought Mom the tapes about Joni Eareckson Tada who became a quadriplegic after a diving accident.  Joni’s tapes speak about how God is always faithful.  I turned the tape on in the den for her to listen to, and she fell asleep.  Grandmother talked about getting the Bible on tape from her church for Mom.

One of the times I think was probably difficult for her was going to her office at work and taking all her belongings home because she can no longer work.  Dad, Lauren, Ashton, and I went with her to her office.  I went through the cabinets and helped get her final few items.  She told me she had already taken a lot of stuff home.  

U      If your loved one works, can you be supportive and help them pack their belongings from their office?  U