Traditions (part II)

I was disappointed because I want to stay at Dad’s just like I’m sure everyone else wants.  Claudia’s mom can’t get up and down the stairs to the condo, so she needs to stay at Dad’s.  It would not be fair for Dad’s girls to stay at their house and not Kelli and Adam.  There are so many people and things to take into consideration.  We have to honor their decision.

I sit and think about what Mom would say if she were here.  But, that is the whole issue, it is because she is not here; there has to be change and things have to be done differently.  Everyone has to take one for the team, sacrificing in some way.  At first, it may seem to be an issue, just as it was an issue when I found out Dad was dating one person.  Feelings are hurt, you learn to deal with it, adapt and adjust, and everything is fine.

There will be other issues that come up I know.  Change is inevitable.  One week from today will be Dad and Claudia’s first anniversary.  Time has flown by.  New traditions will be started I’m sure, and the old one’s may be hard to let go of.  Whoever thought the death of one family member would create so much change in the lives of their loved ones.

The situation resolved itself.  Dad called me this past weekend to tell me one of Claudia’s relatives is not coming down for Christmas.  It will be crowded, but everyone can stay at Dad’s house this year.

U Are you being selfish about having things the way they have ALWAYS been or are you taking into consideration the needs of both families?  U

Traditions (part I)

The holidays are soon approaching, and our family is trying to plan ahead for Christmas.  There are many things to take into consideration.  We are a blended family now, Claudia’s family and Dad’s family; two families coming together as one.  Ever since Mom passed away, things have never been the same nor will they ever be.

Family has been an important and big part of our lives.  There has been tradition woven in throughout the years.  One tradition is everyone always spends the night at Mom and Dad’s house when we came in town for Thanksgiving or Christmas.  Jamie lives on the island, so she and her family drive over Christmas morning.  Space has become an issue, as our families have expanded.  One year, my family stayed at a hotel on the island to ease the traffic and congestion at their house.  Another year, possibly Christmas, Paul and Ashton slept in a trailer in their backyard.

U  Are the loved one’s siblings, parents, grandparents etc. being remembered (by phone calls, gifts or invites to gatherings) especially during the holidays or on their birthday?  U 

This year, everyone from both families will be on the island, and there is no room in the inn.  On August 30^th, Claudia sent the four girls an email discussing the upcoming plans concerning where everyone will stay.  She wrote, “Your Dad and I are thinking ahead about Christmas – merging our two families, it will be a large group, and we want it to be a special time for everyone.”  She then listed where each family will stay.  She told us my family and Joann’s family will be staying in the condo above her condo.  She is renting her condo out for the winter, so we can’t stay there.  Jennifer’s family will stay with Jamie.  Claudia’s mom and a few of her relatives will stay at Dad’s.  Kelli has her own apartment on the island and she, Adam, Myra, and Hamp will stay there. 

U  Are you realizing the new spouse’s children may not feel comfortable to stay a long while because the house has not become home to them yet?  U