At the bottom again

I went through a series of events that sent me once again to rock bottom.  I think this was the lowest moment in my life.  One thing concerned my job and possibly not getting to coach my varsity team, but the other was even more devastating.  Friday night, I came to the realization I may have the same disease Mom died from.  I am so tired of crying.  I am ready to be on the mountain top again.  I’ve been having a lot of twitching in my muscles lately.  A little over a week ago, it was a twitch in my right calf muscle.  For the last week, it has been a twitch in my upper arm.  For two days, it was pretty much been on and off all day.  As I have been reading stories of people and their struggles with ALS, muscle twitching has been a symptom in a lot of cases.  I will also have a random twitch here and there in other body parts.

I basically accepted this was the case and broke down Friday night.  So many thoughts ran through my mind:

*How I got what I wanted about being with Jesus.

*My pride in occasionally thinking of the muscular body I had, and now it would be wasted away.

*Paul having to deal with three businesses and me.

*Thinking about the things I would find solitude in.

*My job.

*My church having to go through what Mom’s church did.

*When would I tell my sisters and Dad?

*Would I able to be as strong as Mom was? 

I thought it was too early to tell my family because I did not want to stress them about whether or not I had ALS.  I do wish I could tell them, so they could pray for me.  But for now, Paul is the only one who knows.  At school and church, I just say I have an unspoken prayer request.

U Are you looking at the Lord or your circumstances?  U