What’ll ya have?

I went to the neurologist today.  The last time I was there, I was diagnosed with BFS (Benign Fasciculation Syndrome).  I thought I had ALS.  Today, I went to figure out why I had pain and burning in my arm and numbness in three of my fingertips.  Again, I thought I had a terminal illness.  If not ALS, maybe it was MS.

I dd not mention my thoughts and concerns to the doctor and prayed for him to have wisdom.  He told me pain, numbness, and burning are sensory things, and ALS is not.  He said after looking at my nerve test and evaluating me, I did not have ALS.  I am getting an MRI of my neck to see if we can find out what is wrong.

The relief of that really hit tonight.  I have thought on two different occasions I was going to die from a terminal illness.  Those are tough times.  Just mentally processing the feelings and emotions of thinking you are going to die from a terminal illness are extremely difficult.  Neither of my children knew either time what I was going through because I tried to hide it from them.

It can be burden for other people to know a close friend or loved one is going to die from a terminal illness.  For the last seven weeks, I have kept this from my family because of this reason.  It was hard, but it was something I thought I should do to relinquish the stress and pain from them.  I told Evelyn a few things, but only shared everything with Paul and one other friend.

I really did not ponder the results for hearing I did not have ALS until late this afternoon.  On the way to pick up my son from football, I was being silly and made a silly statement about what God was going to do with me.  Immediately I thought, “What’ll ya have?”  The Varsity is a restaurant that asks, “What’ll ya have?” when a customer walks up to the counter.

U  What’ll ya have with me Jesus?  U