Grandmother (part V)

The preacher wanted a big hat like Grandmother would wear at the front of the church next to her picture. Her ashes were in a box covered with pretty linen. A large flower arrangement was at the front of the church as well. The flowers were from Claudia and Dad and would be in the church service Sunday.

     A reception was held after the service. A lady mentioned the members would like a receiving line. We weren't prepared, but despite our lack of preparation, we pulled it together and met many people from her church, Dad’s church, and others who loved Grandmother.

     I went to Grandmother’s house because she had wanted me to go through her clothes and get what I wanted. I did not want her clothes except for a few things with sentimental value. I found a writing pen from her church, a Beanie Baby and purse for Lauren, two makeup compacts, a pair of earrings for one of my sisters, my cousin’s charms with their birthdays engraved on them, a few of her cushioned fancy hangers for myself and my sisters, and a few other small items. I also found a card that I sent her. 

     I noticed the box of Grandmother’s ashes on the table at Dad’s house and wanted to hold it. It is weird to think I held all that was left of my Grandmother. The box was sealed tight. I rocked it like a ship in a storm, listening to its sounds. Why did I do this? I have no clue.

     I told Dad, “You did a good job, and Grandmother would have been proud.”

     On the way home, we got gas. A few seagulls were flying around in the parking lot, which made me think—I hope Grandmother sees angels flying since she can’t see the seagulls.  

     That night, I prayed and told the Lord it would be great if He let me peek into Heaven and see if Grandmother was there. I could celebrate and not be in sorrow. I must give it to the Lord, releasing the burden from my heart, and not dwell on it. I would be mournful if she was not there. I can’t do anything now—I did all I was supposed to do.