Grandmother (part V)

Grandmother’s large hat rested by her photo, and a pretty linen covered her box of ashes. Claudia and Dad's large flower arrangement decorated the front of the church. The flowers would remain for Sunday’s church service.

Church members held a reception after the service and decided to have a receiving line. Although we weren't prepared for one, we organized everyone and met many people from her church, Dad’s church, and others who loved Grandmother. 

Grandmother wanted me to go through her clothes and get what I wanted, so I went to her house. I didn’t want her clothes but wanted a few sentimental items. I found a writing pen from her church, a Beanie Baby and purse for Lauren, two makeup compacts, a pair of earrings for my sissy, her charm bracelet with my charm and my cousins with our birthdays engraved on them, a few of her cushioned hangers for myself and my sisters, and a few other small items. I also found a card I sent her. 

Grandmother's boxed ashes were sitting on the kitchen table at Dad's house—I wanted to hold them. 

I am holding all that is left of Grandmother. What a strange thought.

I gently rocked it like a ship in a storm, listening to the sounds it made. I don't really know why I did this.

You did a good job, and Grandmother would have been proud,” I told Dad.

On the drive home, we stopped for gas and noticed seagulls flying around the parking lot. 

 I hope Grandmother sees angels flying since she can’t see the seagulls. 

Tonight, I prayed, “Lord, it would be great if You would let me peek into Heaven to see if Grandmother was there. I could celebrate and not be in sorrow.”

It could be the other way around.

I must give it to the Lord, releasing the burden from my heart, and not dwell on it. I can’t do anything now—I did all I was supposed to do.