Finish the race

 

It is May 2, 2007.  Last month has been crazy.  The Christian writer’s conference starts in eighteen days, and I have not heard from the Lord whether or not He wants me to go.  I asked Him to give me a sign.  I went to the first writer’s conference because I thought I was supposed to go.  I don’t want it to be “my” decision.

At times, I have begged and pleaded for Him to show me, and at other times I have been distraught.  I know the Lord does not want me that way.  Thankfully, I have people at school praying for me. 

Just the other night, I looked at my painting of “Jesus in the Cloud” and remembered the passion I had in painting it.  All of the passion throughout the whole writing of the book just reminded me it had to be from the Lord. 

If I don’t hear from Him, I think I have to step out by faith one more time and try to finish the race.  If the doors get closed fine; I can accept it.

The last few days have been peaceful.  I have tried to be still and quiet before Him to hear His reply.  I have been reading Mom’s book by Charles Stanley again, and it has helped me greatly.  Part of one of the paragraphs I keep turning back to states, “If we make no response to what God says, we will never learn to hear.  If we do not positively know that we have heard from God, then we must actively move in the direction we believe God spoke.  We learn this way because we take a step of faith.  Since God is a loving Father, if He sees us moving in the wrong direction, He will correct our course so that we walk in the truth.  We may not hear rightly every time, but that is part of the learning process too.”

U  Are you actively moving in the direction you believe God spoke?  U

U  Are you walking by faith by taking a step of faith?  U

Stanley, Charles. How to Listen to God. Nashville:  Thomas Nelson, Inc.,  Publishers, 1985.  133.

Getting me through (part ll)

My faith in the Lord has been the thing that has helped me get through.  I read a book this summer written by Charles Stanley, How to Listen to God.  It was Mom’s book, and it was phenomenal.  The one statement that stood out in my mind was, “The same God who gave you the job is the One who allowed it to be taken away.”   CHECK….  I really don’t believe it is God’s will that I not coach, but He also allowed this to be sifted through His hands.  He could have intervened and stopped things from happening.  I asked God to use the situation to work out the best way.

U  Is your faith in the Lord?  U

U  Are you trying to listen to Him?  U

Another thing that has helped me get through is a letter from that one volleyball player of mine who changed so dramatically.  She walked into my office near the end of the school year and handed me a letter I will cherish for the rest of my life.  The reason I have not mentioned her name is because of one of the statements she wrote in the letter.

The first part of the letter was about volleyball stuff and how excited she was about the upcoming volleyball season (before she found out I was not coaching.)  She wrote, “Coach Glenn, I want to thank you.  Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.  Thank you for sacrificing your time to coach, not just during the season, but summers too.  Thank you for being there for me whenever I needed to talk.  Thank you for being a Godly influence for me.  Thank you for making me laugh all the time.  But most of all, thank you for never giving up on me.  No matter how bad it got, you never quit on me.  After my friends, my teachers, even my family gave up on me…you never did.  And when I fell so far that I even gave up on myself, you were still there.  After I was such a jerk to you.  You never left my side.  You stayed on me until I changed my ways.  God only knows where I would be today if it wasn’t for you.  Coach Glenn, you saved me.  In all honesty, I don’t know if I would even be alive today if it weren’t for you.  Thank you for never giving up on me.  Thank you for telling me how proud of me you are.  I don’t hear it that much, and it gets to me every time.  I love you coach.”  And she signed her name.

U  Is there someone in your life God has placed before you to be their cheerleader when everyone else has walked away?  U

Stanley, Charles. How to Listen to God. Nashville:  Thomas Nelson, Inc.,

         Publishers, 1985. 41.

Christmas

The hardest time came for me around Christmas.  With the latest news of Mom’s life expectancy decreasing, I knew this Christmas would probably be her last.  I cried constantly without letting my family know.  I cried mainly at night when I was doing my devotion.  I also cried when I looked at the pictures of Mom and Dad in my den.  I looked at how she used to be and thought about how she was now.  I had thoughts of her holding my kids when they were babies and her hugging us.  Things one would take for granted, simple things like giving someone a hug…..something Mom can no longer do.   Everything at one time was perfect; now all has changed.

U  Are you taking for granted something as simple as a hug?  U

There was a silent Lord’s Supper on Christmas Eve at my church.  We read along in the bulletin, reflected on Christ, and listened to beautiful music being played on the organ.  I struggled with trying to focus on the service, but my mind constantly thought of Mom.  As I sat and prayed, tears constantly flowed down my face.  I would quickly wipe them away so no one could tell I was crying.  I remember during one song, it sounded as though there were angels.  It was beautiful music, and I lavished it for a brief moment.

My sisters and I had “Christmas” all planned out.  We actually celebrated Christmas during Thanksgiving, as we were to spend Christmas at Paul’s parent’s house this year.  We all would bring something to Mom’s house we had made for “Christmas” dinner.  It was a great time to have the whole family together.



Praying for Mom to be healed

I had been praying for quite some time for Mom to be healed.  I felt as though I was all alone in this endeavor.  Through telephone conversations with my sisters, I found out they felt God was answering prayer by taking her life early so she would not have to suffer.