Christmas

The hardest time came for me around Christmas.  With the latest news of Mom’s life expectancy decreasing, I knew this Christmas would probably be her last.  I cried constantly without letting my family know.  I cried mainly at night when I was doing my devotion.  I also cried when I looked at the pictures of Mom and Dad in my den.  I looked at how she used to be and thought about how she was now.  I had thoughts of her holding my kids when they were babies and her hugging us.  Things one would take for granted, simple things like giving someone a hug…..something Mom can no longer do.   Everything at one time was perfect; now all has changed.

U  Are you taking for granted something as simple as a hug?  U

There was a silent Lord’s Supper on Christmas Eve at my church.  We read along in the bulletin, reflected on Christ, and listened to beautiful music being played on the organ.  I struggled with trying to focus on the service, but my mind constantly thought of Mom.  As I sat and prayed, tears constantly flowed down my face.  I would quickly wipe them away so no one could tell I was crying.  I remember during one song, it sounded as though there were angels.  It was beautiful music, and I lavished it for a brief moment.

My sisters and I had “Christmas” all planned out.  We actually celebrated Christmas during Thanksgiving, as we were to spend Christmas at Paul’s parent’s house this year.  We all would bring something to Mom’s house we had made for “Christmas” dinner.  It was a great time to have the whole family together.