"God can do it again!"

This particular day would turn out to be even harder.  Mom’s allergies had not been well lately, which made her have a lot of drainage.  She said the back of her throat was raw from all the drainage.  When she started coughing, I had to bring her a cup of water to try to settle her cough.  That didn’t always work, and I would have to get her a cough drop.  My sisters told me from their previous visits Mom started choking on her food.  Jennifer told me one time she thought she was going to have to do the Heimlich maneuver on Mom.

U  Do you know the Heimlich maneuver and CPR in case you need to use them?  U

That night as she was watching television, she started to have one of her coughing attacks.  Nothing seemed to work.  She leaned forward and dropped the cough drop out of her mouth.  She looked at me with despair and even though I tried not to panic, I did.  I saw she could not get her breath.  I looked to Dad that was sitting there the whole time, and I motioned for help.  He got up and lifted her up to walk outside on the porch so she could get cooled down.  She cooled down and got her breath.  She told me because I panicked, I made it worse.  That night before I went to bed, she apologized if she made me upset.  I don’t know if that conversation was brought on by Dad or not.

U   Are you remembering it is very important to your loved one for you to remain calm during stressful times?  U

I lay in bed that night going over all the events of the day and cried.  Another seed of doubt came into my mind.  I read my devotion for the night and the previous night’s devotion because I had not read it yet.  After I read both devotions, I skimmed through other devotions I had already done.  I stopped flipping through the book, and the book laid open to the devotion for February 2^nd.  I read the last few comments at the end of the page which read, “Write down one specific moment when God delivered you or gave you a miracle in some way, and thank him.  Then remind yourself that if God did it before, He can do it again!”  The title of the devotion was, “God Can Do It Again!”  That was all that I needed to read to sooth me and to give me reassurance.  I now had 110 % confidence He would heal Mom.  He was telling me to wait.  All I had to do was trust Him.

Before I left for the weekend, I decided to tell Dad briefly I thought Mom was going to be healed.  He listened and then replied, “We’re waiting.”  This in-depth answer, in a way surprised me a little.  My parents and I have never really had serious, in-depth conversations.  For example, when it came time for me to learn about the birds and the bees, they sent me to a weekend church retreat that was called, “Birds, Bees, Wees, and Human Sexualities.”

My parents don’t open up and talk about their emotions.  When we found out Mom was diagnosed with ALS, I became concerned.  I just did not think Mom would open up and share her feelings with Dad.  She had a lot of close friends, but I found out they “bounced” around bringing the subject up but did not discuss it directly.  So, I decided to write Mom a letter.  I sat on my front porch and poured my heart out to her.  It was a very difficult letter to write.  I told her I did not want her to bottle her feelings up and she can call me anytime to talk no matter the time.  She has not called yet, and I’m not expecting a phone call either.   

Fuller, Cheri. The One Year Book of Praying through the Bible. Wheaton:        Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 2003. February 2.