A special devotion

I went to Shari’s house to drop off my devotion book and a sympathy card.

“People at the funeral home told me many neat things I hadn't known about Nathan. Several people said Nathan was the only person who would speak to their child. Another person said he stopped to tutor a child while he was out riding his bike,” she said.

Nathan was a servant and wanted to avoid being in the spotlight. There were so many people at the visitation. It was supposed to be from 5:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m., but she left a few minutes before midnight.

Waiting for the Lord

 

The last twenty-four hours again have been a roller coaster ride for me.  Yesterday was an all-time low.  I received a rejection letter for this book which was hard for me to take because the editor suggested I take a writing course at a local college.  I cried and doubted the publishing of my book.  I wanted to print out my book, so I could remember the affirmation I felt the Lord gave me.  All I wanted to do was just go to bed.  I viewed this as Satan trying to discourage me.

I had emailed my sisters a few days earlier, telling them to pray for my book.  Today, when I was checking my emails, I read an email forwarded to me by Joann.  The title is, Waiting for the Lord. and was written by Os Hillman.  The scripture is, “Wait on the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait on the Lord,” Psalm 27:14

Os talked about hearing and doing God’s will and how they were two very different things.  He felt the Lord had called him to write which was very different than what he currently was doing.  He tried to find a publisher without any success.  His wife asked him if he had finished the book and he had not.  She basically told him when he finished the book, the Lord would provide a publisher if he was called to write.  Long story short, the day he finished the book, he was offered a contract for it to be published.

This of course is exactly what I needed to hear and of course it was the millionth confirmation God has given me.  He never ceases to amaze me.  He knew I was getting discouraged and very much wanted to follow His will.

As I was debating whether or not to write this in my book, I heard the chimes dinging on my front porch.

**I found a copy of the devotion if you would like to read it:  http://www.injesus.com/message-archives/prophetic/Word-Of-The-Lord-Today/waiting-for-the-lord

     Hillman, Os.  “Waiting for the Lord.” Today God Is First, Daily Workplace Inspiration.2005. http://www.TodayGodIsFirst.com

What’s next? (part II)

Jennifer called me again to ask me to call Dad because she forgot to tell him to pack her pillow.  She had called home so many times concerning taking Mom’s medicines and other things that she forgot to remind him.  She did not want him to get mad.  Since I was not at home and my cell phone went dead, she could not get in touch with me and called Jamie.  Jamie went over to Mom’s house and helped Dad pack her things since he would not know what to pack.

She said Mom has not been able to eat much for the past couple of days because she could not swallow well.  When Jennifer was at Mom’s house, Mom only ate about a cup of apple sauce and one-fourth of a banana.  She did not know if they would have to put her on fluids and help her get stronger before they did the surgery.

One of the frustrating things patients go through once they have had a trach is communicating their needs to their caregiver.  They can mouth the words, but sometimes it is hard to read someone’s lips when they are not used to doing so.  Jennifer suggested Mom meet with a therapist so she will know how to communicate better with us.  They can teach patients to blink once for no, two blinks for yes, or use flashcards, so they can communicate better.

U  Have you utilized resources such as speech, occupational, and physical therapists who can aid in improving the quality of life for your loved one?  U

Last night’s devotion again was very relevant.  I had read it the night before because it was February 29^th and there was not a devotion for that night.  The title was, “Calling with Confidence.”   The scripture the devotion comes from is Psalm 44: 23-24, 26, “Wake up, O Lord!  Why do you sleep?  Get up!  Do not reject us forever.  Why do you look the other way?  Why do you ignore our suffering and oppression?  Rise up!  Come and help us!  Save us because of your unfailing love.”  The devotion talked about us going through difficulties, and we too may also question God in the same manner.  We may feel the Lord may be looking the other way but to remember He will never let you down.

The prayer at the bottom stated, “Lord, thank you for your promised presence with me today.  Although my circumstances may seem overwhelming, I call to you with confidence because you are all powerful and you love me.  Come and help me!  Save me because of your unfailing love and help me experience you as my sure refuge.  I wait expectantly to see you move in a mighty way in my life today.” 

I do not in feel in any way that the Lord is asleep.  He has shown His face to me even in the clouds.  He is constantly reminding me He is going to heal her.  I just have to trust in which way He will heal her. 

U   Do you trust in God’s promise that He will never forsake you?  U

 Fuller, Cheri. The One Year Book of Praying through the Bible. Wheaton: 

    Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 2003. March 1.

"God can do it again!"

This particular day would turn out to be even harder.  Mom’s allergies had not been well lately, which made her have a lot of drainage.  She said the back of her throat was raw from all the drainage.  When she started coughing, I had to bring her a cup of water to try to settle her cough.  That didn’t always work, and I would have to get her a cough drop.  My sisters told me from their previous visits Mom started choking on her food.  Jennifer told me one time she thought she was going to have to do the Heimlich maneuver on Mom.

U  Do you know the Heimlich maneuver and CPR in case you need to use them?  U

That night as she was watching television, she started to have one of her coughing attacks.  Nothing seemed to work.  She leaned forward and dropped the cough drop out of her mouth.  She looked at me with despair and even though I tried not to panic, I did.  I saw she could not get her breath.  I looked to Dad that was sitting there the whole time, and I motioned for help.  He got up and lifted her up to walk outside on the porch so she could get cooled down.  She cooled down and got her breath.  She told me because I panicked, I made it worse.  That night before I went to bed, she apologized if she made me upset.  I don’t know if that conversation was brought on by Dad or not.

U   Are you remembering it is very important to your loved one for you to remain calm during stressful times?  U

I lay in bed that night going over all the events of the day and cried.  Another seed of doubt came into my mind.  I read my devotion for the night and the previous night’s devotion because I had not read it yet.  After I read both devotions, I skimmed through other devotions I had already done.  I stopped flipping through the book, and the book laid open to the devotion for February 2^nd.  I read the last few comments at the end of the page which read, “Write down one specific moment when God delivered you or gave you a miracle in some way, and thank him.  Then remind yourself that if God did it before, He can do it again!”  The title of the devotion was, “God Can Do It Again!”  That was all that I needed to read to sooth me and to give me reassurance.  I now had 110 % confidence He would heal Mom.  He was telling me to wait.  All I had to do was trust Him.

Before I left for the weekend, I decided to tell Dad briefly I thought Mom was going to be healed.  He listened and then replied, “We’re waiting.”  This in-depth answer, in a way surprised me a little.  My parents and I have never really had serious, in-depth conversations.  For example, when it came time for me to learn about the birds and the bees, they sent me to a weekend church retreat that was called, “Birds, Bees, Wees, and Human Sexualities.”

My parents don’t open up and talk about their emotions.  When we found out Mom was diagnosed with ALS, I became concerned.  I just did not think Mom would open up and share her feelings with Dad.  She had a lot of close friends, but I found out they “bounced” around bringing the subject up but did not discuss it directly.  So, I decided to write Mom a letter.  I sat on my front porch and poured my heart out to her.  It was a very difficult letter to write.  I told her I did not want her to bottle her feelings up and she can call me anytime to talk no matter the time.  She has not called yet, and I’m not expecting a phone call either.   

Fuller, Cheri. The One Year Book of Praying through the Bible. Wheaton:        Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 2003. February 2.

What was God trying to tell me? (part II)

 

The devotion book I am going through has a prayer at the bottom of the page.   On February 23^rd, the prayer stated, “Oh Lord, you have done many miracles for us.  Thank you that your plans are bigger than all of us put together!  How I praise you for your wonderful deeds!”

On this same night Paul read the kids their devotion, and it was concerning Jesus healing a blind man.  At the beginning of the devotion it read, “Are you willing to stand for something you know is true, even when you’re the only one standing for it?”  One thing I have to be very careful with is even though I have a lot of strong Christians telling me what they think, I have to have faith and believe.  I can’t take what they say, even though I hear it audibly, over what God keeps telling me.

Tonight, (February 24^th), I went to a FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) banquet.  Before the featured speaker spoke, the people involved with FCA were sharing what was happening with FCA in their schools.  One particular man spoke then told about his son and how he was healed of cancer one month after he had been diagnosed.  He spoke of the “great physician” and playing baseball with Lou Gehrig.

One way Mom could to be healed and would be a great testimony, would be for her to go to see the movie, The Passion, and for her to walk away from the movie healed.  I heard a deaf girl in the movie was healed on the set.  Just this morning, I overheard two students talking about the movie.  I did not hear the beginning of the conversation, but one student poked fun at the notion that people in wheelchairs aren’t going to just pop up and walk away from the movie.  I wanted to make a comment to him but did not.  If that is how God wants to draw people to Him, He can.  He can do whatever He wants, and I would love if that happened to Mom.

Jennifer is going to Mom’s house, and I told her I wanted her to take Mom to the movie.  It was my birthday Saturday, and I wanted her to take Mom to the movies as my birthday present. 

Fuller, Cheri. The One Year Book of Praying through the Bible. Wheaton: 

Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 2003. February 23.

Persegheti, Jackie. Caution:  Dangerous Devotions. Colorado Springs: 

Chariot Victor Publishing, 1995. 86.