A blessing in disguise?

This day was hard.  One of the first things that really stand out in my mind is I miss her.  I was not really prepared for her to die.  It was as though I wanted the clock to be rewound, so I could have done it differently.  I wish I would have given her a final hug.  I wanted to tell her how much she meant to me and how she had been such a special Mom.  Telling her these things would have been difficult because we did not know how much time she had left.  The timing would have been critical.  I would not have wanted to tell her then three months later she passes away. 

All along I thought the Lord was going to heal her.  The last few weeks before she died, I started to think He may not heal her physically.  Once I got to her house, I knew He was not going to physically heal her.  I wonder if it was a blessing in disguise He was giving to me, so I would not anguish over the long months she slowly deteriorated.  Maybe He was trying to keep me strong, knowing I would have fallen apart.

I wanted to clean up Mom’s room before Nana (her mom) got there.  I kept a few things of hers as I was cleaning.  I kept the last straw she drank out of, the last rag we had used for her to suck on, and the last card I sent her.  The card I sent her was the card I used to fan her so frequently.  On the front of the card was the following quote, by Roy Lessin, “In His Time…….I wait on God to bring to pass all He has promised me, and as I wait I rest in faith in what I cannot see.  For in His way He will provide at just the perfect time everything that’s good and right to bless this life of mine.”  It had listed my favorite scripture, Romans 8:28 on the inside of the card.  I also kept the sheet with all the medicines written down.

I went over to Grandmother’s house.  She greeted me at the door, and we talked for a few minutes.  She said she did not know how she was going to make it without her.  She could not understand why it was not her that died; she had lived a long life.  I told her there was a reason; we may not know what it is, but there is a reason.  I quoted Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (NIV, Romans 8.28)  It just rolled off my tongue without hesitation.  Grandmother said, “I hope so.”  She told me I was like a stone or a rock.  I guess it was because of how strong I was being.

U  Can you share God’s faithfulness to others as they struggle to understand?  U

Lessin, Roy. In His Time. Siloam Springs: DaySpring Cards.