Her last tear (part I)

I noticed after she had passed away, a tear in her left eye.  I touched her tear and kissed it.  I can’t remember what I said as I was doing that.  That would be the last tear she would ever have again.  There are no tears in Heaven.  She looked peaceful as if there was a faint smile on her face.

The same squirrel came back to the window and peeked his head into the window.  It was if to say he knew Mom had passed away.  I think the Lord had that squirrel come back again.

I called Nana back and told her the reason I had to call her back was because Mom had passed away, and I was trying to help her.  She cried.  I talked with her awhile.  I told Nana that she was with Jesus in Heaven and not suffering anymore.  I was strong when I was talking with her and wanted her to tell me anything she wanted to say.  Nana talked about how she was such a sweet girl.

I called Jamie, and she said she would be right there.  I then called Jennifer and told her the news.  She wept bitterly on the phone.  Jamie arrived, and we wept together.  Then Dad came into the room.  I have never in my life seen Dad cry.  He sat down in the chair next to her, rubbed her arm and said, “Oh, baby,” (that I can remember).  He openly lamented and cried out loud over her death.  I whispered to Jamie for us to be strong for Dad.  He started to cry again and this time it was because he did not want me to be there alone when she passed.  I told him I wanted to be there.

Dad had dropped Lauren and Ashton off at a friend’s house before he came home.  I had to decide what I wanted to do with them.  Whether I wanted them to see Mom how she was or wait to see if they wanted to see her at the funeral home.  I was going to wait until Paul got to the house before I told him she passed away, but I needed to know what to do with the kids.  I called him and told him Mom passed away and asked him what he thought about the kids seeing Mom.  I told him I thought they should see her because it would bring closure.  They had seen her before they left and something to the effect that they should see her before she is taken to the funeral home.  He agreed.  I told them to bring the kids over.  I was very thankful the kids were not there as she passed away.  It was stressful enough for me.  It would have been overwhelming for them.  God’s timing is good.