Thursday, August 9, 2012

Pressing forward (part II)



Jamie and Kaitlin met us in church, and we all sat together.  For lunch, we went to Jin Right’s which was a Sunday afternoon tradition.  Paul had to go back to Athens, so he rented a car and went home after lunch.

Later that afternoon, we all went to Jekyll Island because Dad wanted me to take some pictures with my camera.  The first place Dad wanted me to take pictures was a section of the beach that had low lying majestic oak trees everywhere.  He wanted me to peer through the trees and take a picture of the lighthouse on St. Simons with the trees in the foreground.  We went to the other end of the island to have a picnic near where there was a shipwrecked shrimp boat.  We took a lot of pictures, had a nice picnic, and took some more pictures at sunset.

Lauren has become very attached to Claudia and wanted to basically spend every waking hour with her.  Claudia wanted us to spend time with Dad and did not want to take away our time with him.  I keep inviting her to do things with us because it did not bother me.  We made divinity at Dad’s house and amazingly so it did not bother me either.  I know I have people praying for me this week, and it helped a lot.

On March 13th (the anniversary of Mom’s death), I prayed for the Lord to take control of my emotions and to help me.  I did not cry at all on the anniversary but did get tears in my eyes as I found things around the house which reminded me of her.  I have not forgotten her. 

I spent a lot of time talking with Dad on the anniversary of Mom’s death.  We were at the beach and talked about everything.  I told him about my dream.  He asked me if I was ever in Winn Dixie or the grocery store and thought I saw Mom.  I told him no.  He told me he would be in Winn Dixie and thought he saw her, but when he got closer, it was not her.

He also told me about Mom deciding not to get a trach.  I had never heard this story.  He told me after Mom had her operation they went to the doctor’s office (to see about getting a trach).  After about fifteen minutes, Mom was ready to leave.  Dad told her to listen a little while longer.  He said they would have had to take out her voice box(?) and she did not want anything to do with that.

After we had been talking a while, I looked at Dad’s watch.  It was 2:35 p.m.  Mom had passed away at 2:30 p.m.  Around this time, Dad got a phone call from my cousin about Aunt Jackie.  The cancer was clear in her lung and trachea, but the cancer was all in her brain.  Aunt Jackie was on her way down to visit with Granddad and Grandma Freddie in Macon for a few days.  She then wanted to spend St. Patrick’s Day in Savannah, and come to St. Simons for a few days.

The doctor called them when they were in Macon.  He told her the news and told her she needed to come back to Ohio.  She asked if she could stay a few days because she wanted to see Grandmother.  The doctor told her if she could start chemotherapy in Georgia she could stay.  Insurance would be a mess, so they had to go back to Ohio.  I told Dad to offer my assistance if they wanted me to tell Grandmother for them.  At first they said no.  The next day, they wanted me to tell her.  

I prayed before I went over to Grandmother’s house because I knew she would be upset.  When I got there, she was still in bed.  She said she had not slept well because she was up thinking about Mom, Jackie, and Johnny.  I told her that was the reason I was there, and that Jackie not going to be able to come down.  I told her all the details I knew.  She was upset, but she is a very strong lady.  She had a few tears but did not cry.  Dad knew he needed to take her to Ohio, so I told her he was checking on airline prices or whether they should drive.  We talked for a while.  She said before Mom passed away, she told Mom she loved her, and Mom said she loved her too.  She ended up getting a one way airplane ticket to Ohio to visit Aunt Jackie for a while. 

While at a restaurant getting ready to eat lunch, Dad was inquisitive of why ......... was upset.  I told him the three things:  they expected him to fill Mom’s shoes, they placed higher expectations on him, and they expected him to come visit them.  They were upset because they thought Dad was bar hopping instead of seeing their family when they were in town.  I tried to tell them differently; he was meeting with friends at night.

Wednesday and Friday nights he met with some buddies.  Some of the guys brought their wives.  He had been doing this before Mom passed away.   Dad told me to try to square everything up.

Joann and I talked one night about Dad getting married and how it could affect us.  Our family times, especially around the holidays, are very important to us.  Luckily, Claudia is a good Christian woman and a positive influence on my kids.  The opposite scenario could have been a woman that would have a negative effect on Dad and my kids.     

U  Is the loved one looking at the very big picture of seeing whether their significant other will have a positive influence on the family and grandchildren?  Are they interested in someone that wants to bond with the family?  (They may have to choose between the new significant other or their family.)  U

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