“Jesus In The Clouds” – the painting (part II)

 

When I got home, I showed Paul and my sisters.  She did a great job, and it was a million times better than mine.  I was very thankful for what Dorothy did for me.   

Before Lauren and Ashton went to bed, I asked them what they thought about the day.  Lauren said, “Busy…..tired.”  Ashton said, “Fun….romantic.”  We started talking about what they were going to call Claudia because she was their grandmother now.  They called her Miss Claudia before.  Ashton said, “Let’s ring her up and see what she wants to be called.”

On the way back home to Athens, we stopped at Mom’s gravesite.  Paul helped me place the shepherd’s staff in the ground because the ground was very hard.  He had to find a large cement block to hit the staff into the ground. 

I put the chimes on the staff and thought about the sounds the chimes would make as the breeze would blow after I was gone.  I said happy birthday to her.  Before I left, I heard the chimes twice and enjoyed hearing the sounds they made.

I talked to Aunt Julie on the phone a little over a week after the wedding.  She was telling me how much fun she had, and we talked for a while.  As I was talking to her, everything seemed so surreal.  It is hard to believe they are actually married now and living in the same house.  I guess it just finally hit me. 

I called Nana on the phone because she had been sick lately.  I had not spoken to her since the wedding.  We talked about the wedding, Dad, and Claudia.  She told me she did not want me mad at her because she did not go to the wedding.  I told her I wasn’t.  She then said, “I would have broken down.”  I told her it was just going to take time.

Paul told me Dad emailed me some pictures.  I asked him if he would print them out for me.  The pictures were from their honeymoon.  There were a few pictures of them on the cruise, and a few when they were in Mexico.  He also sent me a picture of him carrying Claudia over the threshold at their house.  I scanned my eyes over to a picture I have in my den.  It is a picture of Dad carrying Mom over the threshold of their house after they got married.  It was one of the many pictures Mom gave me when she divided up the pictures.  Tears again started to fill my eyes.  It was another one of those hard moments…there will be many more.

The Royal wedding (part III)

A few weeks before the wedding, I called Dorothy, one of Mom and Dad’s friends and asked her if she would paint the cover of my book. Mom had also taken painting lessons from Dorothy, and I have a picture of a flower in a vase Mom painted. Mom also started painting a picture of the St. Simons lighthouse, but she never finished. I had tried to paint the picture of Jesus in the clouds twice, and the paintings were not very good. I felt as though this was something I needed to finish.

One night, as I was in my shower praying about who I could get to paint the cover, her name immediately popped in my mind. When I talked to her, I told her about seeing Jesus in the clouds, and I told her I tried to paint what I saw that day. She thought I would be able to do it myself. I reassured her, the paintings were terrible. I told her I would bring the picture I painted to Dad’s wedding.

I saw Dorothy at the reception and showed her the painting. She liked it, but I knew it was not what I wanted, and I knew she could paint it ten times better. She told me she did not have any plans later in the afternoon, and I could come over to her house. I was thrilled!

Paul and I helped bring the gifts back to the house. Claudia called and told me she and Dad got in their first argument. I asked her if it was because of the bird seed, and she said no. She told me it was because Dad would not share his cookies. She told me Dad was not listening to what the preacher said. I told her to put Dad on the phone, and I told him to share the cookies with Claudia.

Immediately Dad kept repeating a phrase about pay back. He was referring to the bird seed. I reminded him he got the pay back from all four girls getting birdseed thrown on us at our weddings. I told him while I was on my honeymoon I was dumping birdseed out of my suitcase into the street.

He was trying to figure out which daughter did it. Of course I did not tell him it was me. He said it was probably the older two daughters. At the reception, he said something to Jamie about it being her, and Juliette said her mom did it. So, I don’t think he had a clue who did it!

While I was at Dad’s house, Joan (Grandma Freddie’s daughter), Scott (her husband), and Granddaddy came over. They had not seen the house since it had been remodeled. I had already called Dorothy and told her I was on my way over when they came to visit. I stayed awhile and visited with them.

I talked to Joan in the kitchen. We talked about my book, and I told her I had a publisher that would publish my book, but I would have to pay $ 4,000 to get it published. She said,“Your mom wouldn’t have wanted you to pay $ 4,000.” As I sit here typing, I started to cry because I can hear Mom now getting on to me about spending $ 4,000 to get my book published.

We also talked about all the changes going on lately and the changes to Dad’s house. I told her at first I did not want anyone to come in and change things, but now I was fine. Joan told me when she first went back to Grandma Freddie’s house it was hard. She said she took all the pictures down right away. Then I asked her if it was because it was too painful, she said yes. The pictures brought back painful memories of her not being there.  Each person is different and handles death and change in different ways. Either way, it is hard and very painful.

The Royal wedding (part II)

 

The reception was held at Claudia’s friend’s house.  Her friend was actually the one that introduced Dad and Claudia.  One of Mom and Dad’s friends made a comment about how pretty my hair was and then said, “Your mom would have liked it.”  Granddaddy came down to St. Simons for the wedding and when asked what he thought about the wedding he said, “It was beautiful.”

They paid people to sing and play music.  Dad and Claudia were shagging, so I took pictures.  They were as giddy as could be.  Lauren and Ashton entertained themselves on the beach playing in the sand. 

I wanted to repay Dad for all the birdseed he enjoyed throwing on all his girls as they got married.  This time it was my turn!  I asked my sisters if they bought any birdseed, and they had not.  I sent Paul to the grocery store to buy some.  I got a lot of cups, filled them up, and then rallied the troops, so everyone could add in on the fun.  We hid the cups and persuaded Dad and Claudia to walk past us because we had to “take pictures.”  Then the birdseed started flying.  Dad had it everywhere.  He just stood there with his neck tucked in like a turtle, and his arms folded out in front of him.  I poured it in his pockets and everywhere.  I had the rest of the bag, and there was a little left.  Claudia started walking near me, and I poured the last bit in her hair and told her, “Welcome to the family!”  I decided earlier to go easy on Claudia, but at the end changed my mind!  They then headed off for a week long cruise.

During the reception, they had Beta fish swimming in goblets to decorate the tables.  Dad wanted each of the four girls, Kelli, and Adam to take the fish home.  At first, I said I did not want one then thought it would be neat for the kids to have a fish from Dad’s wedding.  They had wanted a fish for a long time, so I changed my mind.  They called him Sparkles.

The Royal wedding (part I)

 

Saturday morning, we went early to the chapel to take pictures.  Joann helped fix my hair and made it real curly.  Lauren, Ashton, and I each wore something of Mom’s.  I had on her wedding band: Lauren wore one of Mom’s charms on a necklace, and Ashton put a silver cross in his pocket that Mom gave him.

U  Can you remember your deceased loved one by wearing a small trinket of theirs during the wedding?  U

The wedding was set to start at 11:00 a.m.  Claudia did not want Dad to see her until she walked down the aisle.

As the four girls, Dad, and Jim waited to come in the front of the church, we were cutting up and laughing.  I had hoped no one heard us.  The girls stood by Dad in birth order which was also by height as well.  Joann stood between Dad and me.  Jennifer and Jamie were behind me.  During the ceremony, Jim said something that made me want to cry, but I cannot remember what he said.  I bit the inside of my cheek to help me not cry.  Jamie held Claudia’s wedding band, and when Jim asked for the ring, we each passed it to one another, then to Jim.  What a neat idea!  It was as if each one of us were blessing the marriage.  When Jim asked for Dad’s wedding ring, Adam passed it to Kelli, and she gave it to Jim.

While Dad was saying his vows he got choked up.  He was supposed to be the strong one for Claudia.  The ceremony was beautiful.  I peeked around Joann, so I could see what was going on.  I asked Jennifer if she wanted to see and she said, “Yes.”  I moved out of the way, so she could see too.  Then, just that quickly, the wedding was over.

Preparing for the Royal wedding (part III)

Friday afternoon, we enjoyed going to the beach with Dad.  Later, I went over to Grandmother’s house to get her wedding gift.  She had not written in the card yet.  I sat on her bed and waited for her to write.  She sat there contemplating what to write and said, “I can’t think.”  She told me she knew what she wanted to write the night before.

On a piece of paper, she scribbled down a few things then stopped to think again.  She did this several times.  She pondered how to sign the card and asked me what I thought Claudia would call her.  It took her about ten minutes to find the right thing to say.  I never really thought about her wanting to say just the right thing to Dad.      

U  Are you realizing everyone is going through a transition?  U

 

Friday night we had the rehearsal at the chapel.  We met Adam, Kelli, Claudia’s mom, and other relatives.  Claudia got teary eyed when Dad was going over the vows. 

The rehearsal dinner was given by some of Claudia’s family.  The invitation was real cute.  At the top there was a picture of a king’s and queen’s crown, and it stated there was a Royal wedding.
 

Dad did not want the grandkids to be at the rehearsal dinner.  Megan is fourteen and Juliette, the youngest will be five this month.  I can understand how Dad wanted to enjoy a quiet evening with his friends and family.  So there would not be any bias, all the grandkids did not come.

U  Are you accepting your loved one is making decisions for their benefit even if you may not agree?  U

When we first got to the dinner, the sun was setting over the ocean, and we got several nice pictures of Dad and Claudia.  We also got several pictures of all the girls together as well as each sister with their spouse.

The rehearsal dinner was nice, and I spent time talking with the guests.  We wore a Burger King crown on our heads to represent it being a Royal wedding.  I talked with one of Claudia’s friends, and she told me it meant a lot to Claudia that we told her to decorate the house how she wanted to.

U  Are you seeing how this new loved one needs to start afresh and new concerning how things need to be?  U

Claudia gave the girls a wedding gift that night from her and Dad.  It was all too appropriate.  The gift was a beautiful angel ornament which had this quote written on it, “God has no other hands than ours.” (Dorothee Soulle, n.d.)

That night as I lay in bed, I thought about the wedding and wanted for there to be a balance.  For me to be excited about the wedding, but I did not want to forget about Mom.  I started crying.  During the night, I awoke and realized I had fallen asleep crying.

Preparing for the Royal wedding (part II)

I sent Dad an email and told him to keep a low key and let things fly off the cuff.  I knew the next two weeks before the wedding would be stressful for Claudia.  I also talked with him on the phone the week before the wedding and told him to be the calm in the storm.  He assured me he was being the calm in the storm.

A few days before the wedding, I was sitting on the front porch thinking about Mom.  I stood up and rang the chimes because the chimes remind me of her.  As soon as I rang the chimes, I looked up and saw a deer standing in the cul-de-sac.  The deer heard me ring the chimes and stared at me.  I told Lauren later and she said, “That’s like Granny because a deer is gentle, calm, and sweet.”  Leave it to a twelve year old to explain the truths in God’s nature. 

Lauren and Ashton were excited about the wedding.  One day, Ashton went around the house saying, “We’re going to Granddaddy’s wedding.  We’re going to Granddaddy’s wedding.”  I was excited about the wedding also and about Dad and Claudia getting married.  I did not know what my thoughts would be the day of the wedding.  I did not want to forget about Mom.  Could I focus on the wedding and not be in sorrow about her?

Thursday night, we arrived at Dad’s house around eleven at night.  Claudia wanted me to be there when I got to Dad’s house, so she could see my facial expressions when I saw the house for the first time.  I was the last of the girls to see the house.

I soaked each room in one at a time.  It did not even look like the same house.  Everything was crisp and new.  Of course Claudia had everything decked to a tee.  The house looked fantastic.

That night we gave them one of their wedding gifts.  I brought two kinds of Dad’s favorite cookies from my shop, and I brought Claudia’s favorite too.  I put the cookies in a cute white tin with a plastic lid, so they could take it on their honeymoon.  We also gave her a golden metal basket to put her keys in, so she would not lose them.

I made them a wedding themed bouquet of cookies.  I decorated a cookie that looks like a groom in his tux, a bride in her gown, a wedding cake, a wedding bell, one with “J” for Jim on it and another bell with “C” for Claudia.  I wanted to give the groom grey hair since Dad has grey hair but decided to be nice.   It was precious.

Evelyn had a doll in her garage sell that turns in circles and plays, “Here comes the bride.”  We gave it to them as a joke.  The four girls also gave them a gift card to Home Depot, so they could get a new grill.  The grill is desperately needed.  The last time I used Dad’s grill, it had major problems.