Aunt Jackie

I went down to St. Simon’s again last week.  Before I left, I told the Lord I could not deal with anyone else dying, and I had been praying for my grandparents to stay healthy.  Aunt Jackie called Dad, but he was not home.  Jamie wrote a note and put it on the table that she had called and had some news to tell him.  Later that evening, she called back, and I answered the phone.  Dad still was not home, and I asked her if she wanted to tell me the news.  She told me she had cancer of the brain, lung, and trachea.  Right after she told me, Dad walked in the house.  She told me it would be easier for me to tell him.  She was already getting upset telling me. 

I told Dad we needed to talk, and we walked into his office.  I told him the bad news.  I saw him wipe his eye.  This was the fourth devastating thing to happen in Dad’s life since March.  Mom died, he lost his job, Brennan died, and now his sister has cancer.  He is not one to open up and share his feelings.  One evening, I was sitting at the table in the kitchen and Dad came and sat down.  I told him Jackie was asking how he was doing, and I had to tell her I really did not know because he did not talk about his feelings.  I tried to give him an opportunity to open up and talk with my initiating the conversation.  He sat there and said nothing.

Aunt Jackie asked me if I would be there for Grandmother when she called and told her the news.  I told her I would.  When I called Grandmother, she did not want me to come over because she just had a bronchial infection and a fever.  She did not want me to get sick.  When Jackie called back, I told her what Grandmother said.  I told her it was up to her, and I would go over there if she wanted me to.  She said she would think about it and call me back.  She called back later and asked if I would go ahead and go over to Grandmother’s house.  Her rational was I was going to be there until Saturday, and she wanted me to be there if Grandmother needed to talk.

U  Is there someone you can be with as they receive bad news?  U

I went over to Grandmother’s house, and she was sitting outside in her wheelchair talking on the phone.  She told me it was Jackie.  I just nodded my head.  Jackie had already told her because I could tell from the conversation.  I guess Jackie then told her why I was there.  Grandmother told me she was okay, and I could go.  I did not leave.  Uncle Johnny (Jackie’s sister and Dad’s brother) was inside the house sick with a fever as well.  Grandmother wanted me to go inside and tell Uncle Johnny.

I went inside and told him I had some bad news to tell him.  I proceeded to tell him his sister had cancer.  We talked for a minute, and I went back outside to be with Grandmother.  She got off the phone, and we talked for a little while.  She was strong as she has always been her whole life.   She is a very independent woman living by herself since before I was born.  Grandmother and Granddad divorced before I was born.  Granddad remarried Grandma Freddie and Grandmother never remarried.

The next night, I went over to Grandmother’s house, and I talked to her for about two and a half hours.  What did we not talk about?  We talked about Mom, the stress she had been under lately, her visiting Aunt Jackie, and stories about what happened when she was there.  She also mentioned she somehow felt she did not do so well with her kids.  She could not control that Mom died and Dad was going through so much.  I told her she did the best she could do (in raising her kids), and I was doing the best I thought too.  I went over the next night before I left and talked with her for about an hour.