Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Muffin (part IV)

 

We met Dr. Arbo.  He took a blood sample and said it would be about 25-30 minutes to get the results.  We went to get gas and while we were out, I called Dr. Mosher’s office to ask how much Muffin weighed on Thursday.  She had lost eighteen ounces!  That is a lot of weight for a dog so small.  I knew it was not going to get any better.

We got the blood work back, and it was not good.  Dr. Arbo said her liver was failing and dragging her kidneys down.  The toxicity of the food was making her not want to eat and making her nauseous.  I knew what we needed to do and asked Paul what he thought.  He thought it was time as well.  I asked the vet about whether the kids should be in there when he was giving Muffin the shot.  He did not recommend it if they were under fifteen.  I asked him what to tell the kids about the shot in case they asked.  He said he did it in two phases.  One shot to make sure she would not feel any pain, and the second one would put her to sleep.  I did not know at first if I wanted to watch him give her the second shot.  I knew I would figure it out.

I got Paul to call Claudia and asked her to bring the kids to the vet so they could say goodbye to her.  Meanwhile, Paul called his mom and asked her to pray for the kids and me.  Claudia brought them to the vet, and they had already been crying.  I started tearing up a little as I saw Lauren crying.  I knew I needed to stay strong for them, so I stopped.  I remember how Jamie and I had to be strong for Dad as he was seeing Mom the first time after she had passed away.

I let each one of them hold Muffin and told them to tell her everything they wanted to because we were not in a hurry.  Lauren did the most talking and Ashton would agree to each statement she said.  I mentioned to them what Mom used to say about Muffin, “Rotten, rotten, rotten!”  It lightened the moment.  It was sweet to hear the things they were telling her.  I knew how much they would miss her.  Before Ashton left, he said he wanted to help dig the hole.

Claudia took them home, and Paul and I went back into the vet’s office.  I got the teddy bear blanket out of the car to carry Muffin home.  She loved to lie on the blanket at home.  Dr. Arbo had great bedside manners and apologized several times about having to put her to sleep.  He said some comment about her going to a better place.  He genuinely cared about her and was not matter of fact. 

I laid her on the blanket and told him we were ready.  He was very discreet and had the shot in his shirt pocket.  As he was giving her the first shot, I kissed her head.  He left so we could be alone with her.  I felt bad because I did not ask Paul if he said everything he wanted to say to her.  He replied, “I can’t.”  He said he already had said so but did not say it out loud.  He would not be able to verbalize it.  I told him that was why I was in the parking lot because I was telling her everything I wanted to tell her.

Dr. Arbo then came in and gave her the second shot that would put her to sleep.  I noticed she was not taking any more breaths and said so out loud.  He listened with a stethoscope to her heart and said she was gone.  I noticed her ear was yellow on the inside and had noticed her eye was a little yellow as well because she was jaundice.  That was my sign that I had made the right decision.  She would not be in pain or suffering any more.  I remember watching Mom take her final breaths and being there when she died.  I was glad Mom was in Heaven with Jesus and not suffering anymore.

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