Muffin (part V)

On the way to Dad’s house, I called our vet to let them know we had put her to sleep.  As soon as I walked into the house, Ashton already had the shovel and was ready to bury her.  Lauren did not want to watch her being buried, but just like when Mom was being buried Ashton wanted to be a part of it.  I told them to pick out where they wanted Muffin to be buried near the back fence.  They picked the exact spot I had thought of in my mind, right where the sun set at the fence. 

Lauren went inside as we were digging the grave but wanted to kiss Muffin goodbye before we buried her.  I told her I would come get her.  Claudia said Ashton could pick out a rock they got from the mountains for her grave marker. 

We got Lauren, and she kissed Muffin bye.  I carried her to the grave on the blanket.  We kissed her goodbye, placed her in the box, and Ashton and I buried her.  I wanted to bury her in a box because I did not want to throw dirt on her.  Ashton picked some flowers and put them on the grave.  I did not know if I should pray, so I did not say anything.  Ashton brought a Sharpie and wrote, “Little Mess Muffin” then “3-10-08” on the rock. 

I told the kids communication was very important, and if they wanted to be by themselves they needed to say so.  If they wanted to talk about it, then talk about it.  If someone was talking about it, and they did not want to hear something, they needed to say so. 

Claudia had picked up all of the pee-pee pads we had on the floor.  It was nice not having to see all of that.  I thanked her.  She said she tried to clean everything all up.  Ashton asked me what we were going to do with all of Muffin’s things.  I told him we would put her things in a special place and keep them.

U What can you do after a death to make the transition easier for someone else? U

Lauren, Ashton, and I just lay around for a while in the back bedroom.  I gave them some candy I had bought for them just in case she passed away.  I remember Mom doing that for me after our dog passed away when I was young. 

I told them to do whatever they wanted to do.  A little while later Ashton got up, and I heard the back door open.  He had walked out to the gravesite.  As I was walking up, he walked towards me.  He said he was just talking to her.  I told him it was okay because I did that at Mom’s grave. 

 

 U Are you communicating with the kids concerning their needs and letting them voice their opinions/needs? U