“My” book (part II)

Here I was, knowing I was to paint the book cover—immediately, I acted. I went to the bookstore and bought a painting book, paints, an online painting instructional video, and other items. I am excited.

    Paul said, “Let God guide you and not have in your perfectionist mind what you think it should be like.”

I haven’t painted since college. The last thing I painted is my wooden Christmas ornaments.

Mom’s painting supplies included several blank canvases, paints, paintbrushes, and an unfinished painting. 

“You can have it all,” Dad said.

I painted “Jesus in the Clouds” on canvas five times. Twice, I used Mom’s canvases and her paintbrush—using her supplies was neat. 

It was challenging to paint Jesus as a cloud—I got frustrated. In one painting, the clouds surrounding Jesus were beautiful, but I did not do an excellent job of painting Jesus. Other times, the clouds surrounding Jesus looked terrible, but Jesus looked better.

Each time, the painting improved. They also improved when I prayed ahead of time. When I didn’t pray, it didn’t turn out as well. I painted one each weekend and continued until I got it right.

UHave you asked the children or grandchildren if they want you to discuss topics about their loved ones? When Lauren was an adult, I asked her this question. She said it depends on the child's age. If they are younger, it may not matter as much. However, she shared, “It hasn’t gotten any easier.” She did not want me to say, “Today would have been Granny’s birthday.” She cried as we talked. U 

U What is God asking you to be obedient to do?U 

“It is finished”

Tonight, I finally think I am finished with my painting.  I had several close calls to messing it up.  Once, I got turpentine drops on it, and I was able to fix it.   Then turpentine splattered all over the background for the sky.  It was the best background I had painted yet.  Still, I was able to fix the painting.  I felt Satan was trying to deter me from accomplishing my goal.

Lauren and Ashton came down to the basement where I was painting to tell me goodnight.  Lauren was in a silly mood.  As she went back upstairs, she said, “Good night Mom.  Good night Jesus.”  She knew I was trying to paint my painting.

Everything was all starting to come together.  Before I painted, I prayed.  I asked Him to help me see Jesus in the clouds, and I also listened to praise music as I painted.

I had a few things I wanted to do differently this time.  I knew I was painting Jesus too much like a figure and not like a cloud.  I was trying to not make it so “perfect.”  I tried to put more blue on Jesus and tried to get his face just right. 

When I finished, I stared at it for a while.  I did not look at it immediately and say, “It is finished.”  I polished it up and fixed the imperfections.  As usual, I took the painting to Paul for him to see.  It wasn’t his typical response, which up until this point did not show any real enthusiasm.  He really liked it a lot and said it was more what he imagined it would look like.  I was pleased with his comments and went back to my drafting table and stared at it again for a while.

As I stared at the painting, I noticed as a tilted the painting back and forth, Jesus winked at me.  At one angle, Jesus’ left eye looked open.  At another angle, His left eye was closed.  It was really neat.  That to me was Jesus saying, “It is finished.”  I offered it up to Jesus and gave it to Him.  I told Him I hoped it honored Him and would bring people to know Him.  As I was praying, tears started to flow down my face.  Then I started crying.  It was a big release because “it is finished.”

It also means my book is finally finished unless God wants me to add something else.  Now I have to be patient until it is the right time to get the book published.  It has been very hard since I got the green light almost a year ago to publish my book.

U Do you personally know the Jesus I saw in the clouds that day?  U

Jesus in the Clouds

That night, before the teachers went out to dinner, I had an intimate session with the Lord.  As I looked out a window in the hotel room, I shared my heart with Him.  I always feel close to Him through nature, and He reveals Himself to me through His nature.

I cried and talked with Him as I was by myself.  I wept for Mom and said to Him, “I just want to touch you.”  There before my eyes was one of the neatest things He has shown me through His nature.  A cloud formed in the shape of a man with his arms outstretched.  He had a shroud around his head, and the folds in the garment were visible.  The figure had flowing garments as they wore in Jesus’ day.  The facial features were defined as well.  In the middle of the robe, there was a space missing in the shape of a heart. 

This was very moving to me, and I watched the cloud as it started to drift over the top of the hotel room out of sight.  I was enjoying every second of this journey He was allowing me to walk down with Him.  My roommate entered the room, and as I heard her coming, I quickly dried my eyes and continued to stare out the window at the beautiful array of colors as the sun started to set.  She saw I was engrossed in thought, so she let me be.     

                    

U   Are you taking the time to find Jesus around you, even in the clouds?  U