Two Miracles (part IV)

Four days later, I returned to see if I could capture another photograph of the hummingbird feeding off the iris.  I got to the botanical garden early and ran into Shelly in the parking lot.  I asked him about the iris, and he told me the bloom had died, and he picked it off.  He said there must have been another bloom underneath it because a new bloom opened.

I was excited about photographing the new bloom, and I hoped the hummingbird would come back.  I got all of my equipment set and waited.  It began to drizzle a little bit, but I was determined to stay.  I waited about 15 minutes in the rain and for some reason I did not have my face to the back of the camera.  The hummingbird let her presence be known by the roar of her wings.  But it was too late.  She buzzed around the flower very briefly then flew away.  I was so disappointed that I did not get the shot.

I waited for probably an hour and a half more and she never came back.  It had been raining lightly the whole time but luckily I had something to throw over my shoulders to keep me dry.  I found another worker I know and told her Shelly should get the first bloom and press it for Jason’s mom.  I left disappointed, but I think I may have one more try before the bloom is gone. 

I went back today, and the bloom had closed and wilted.  Again, I was disappointed, but I knew ahead of time that when the Lord allows me to photograph His divine appointments, it has always been a one-time shot.  I am thankful for the two miracles He allowed me to document, and I will never forget the story! 

Two Miracles (part III)

A short time later Shelly walked up.  He said the flower had bloomed the day before.  I told him I had been crying, and then showed him the image on the back of my camera.  To add to the miracle, he said he has never seen a hummingbird in the Iris garden!  That doesn't surprise me.

He said he was going to call Jason’s mom, and I told him to please give her my email.  I want to print and mat the photo and give it to her.

Shelly walked away and the next thing I know, he was bringing a few workers to the Iris garden.  I had met two of the workers before and showed them the image.  Shelly had already told them the story of the hummingbird.   

I wanted to learn a little about Jason.  I found an article about the wreck and his page from the funeral home’s website.  I cried as I read the sweet things friends and family wrote about him.  I read about the great guy Shelly told me about.  From what I read, he personally knew the Lord, so he is Heaven with Jesus experiencing an incredible life!

Two Miracles (part II)

 

I was very touched by the story and knew this was one of God’s many miracles that He still performs today.  I wanted to photograph the iris and put the story on my blog.  When I first photographed the flower, it had not opened yet.  I came back another time and again it had not opened. 

Today, September 20^th, 2013, I noticed the iris had opened.  I was so excited!  Dew decorated its petals, and it was early in the morning, so the light was beautiful.  I kept saying “It’s coming….it’s coming.”  I knew the perfect light was coming, and I needed to be ready.

I had my camera and long lens mounted on a tripod and set my camera to have a two second delay after I clicked the shutter, so I wouldn’t cause any vibrations.  After the camera captured the photograph, I would look on the back of the camera to see the photo I captured.  I did this several times and used several different angles. 

I realized the second miracle as I looked at the back of my camera.  It had happened without any sound or warning. The miracle was the biggest blessing to me, and I started to cry!  As I looked at the camera, I was in disbelief.  Did I see what I thought I saw?  Yes, I did…..it was a hummingbird feeding from the flower!  Calculate that miracle with numbers:  me setting up my camera on a tripod with a two second delay, me never seeing or hearing the hummingbird, and in those two seconds after I pressed the shutter release, a hummingbird slipped into the photo while I was photographing the first miracle!

I just sat there and cried.  I did not feel worthy of capturing that photograph and said so out loud.  The Lord knows hummingbirds are my favorite bird to photograph.  I believe I can recall thinking how it would be neat if a hummingbird came by and it did.

This is pretty much the original framed shot.  I cropped in a little bit, but this is all of the hummer the photo captured.

Two Miracles (part I)

Just this week I learned about a neat story.  A curator, Shelly, at the State Botanical Garden of Georgia, knew about my blog and thought I would like to hear a story.  He wanted to show me something in the Iris garden, so I followed.  He walked me to an iris that was blooming and about to open.

He told me about the flower and the amazing story behind it.  What could be so neat about an iris in the garden?  This story is of one miracle that turned into two.  The story of the flower is special because of a young man named Jason who worked in the garden in the past, and the Japanese iris was his favorite.

Jason was killed in a car wreck on September 18, 2012.  Shelly took Jason’s mom some iris plants and planted them at her house the month after he died.  Shelly told me Jason was the greatest person you would ever meet.

The first miracle of the story is the flower bloomed a year and one day after he passed away, but there is more.  There are no other iris flowers blooming anywhere else in the garden.  That one flower stood amongst hundreds of other iris plants with no blooms at all.  To add to the miracle, Shelly said that particular plant had been in the ground at least four or five years and has never bloomed in September.

Being a servant (part II)

So, today I showed up at her house again.  I knew her husband went back to work today.  I told her it wasn’t my fault (about me being there), and I told her about the blog I read stating to be there.  She also said she probably wouldn’t have called.

This time I had a bucket of cleaning materials with me, and I wanted to clean her bathrooms and kitchen, then dust, and Swiffer.  I talked with her a little while I was cleaning the kitchen.  I moved the coffee pot and found two things behind it.  One of the things I found was a tithing envelope that had her son’s name on it with a dollar amount written on it.  I showed it to her in case she did not know it was there.  She said it was in his pocket (when he died) and she was going to take it to the church.  I think that is really neat!

I was able to finish cleaning their house and was glad I could minister to them in this way.  I also found out the middle and high school students at our church brought in pantry items for the family.  She had a large plastic shelving unit filled with all kinds of food.  What a great idea.

U  Having written this chapter….Do you think this was the right approach to helping a grieving person or would a person that is very private perhaps need the time and space to grieve?  What is your experience with this situation?  I know each person is different.  U

Being a servant

 

I wanted to minister to my friend, and the only way I knew how was to serve her.  I cleaned my sister's house after her newborn son passed away, and I knew cleaning house was not high on my friend's priority list. 

I went over to her house twice within the last week to see if I could persuade her to let me clean her house.  She did not know I was coming either time.  As I was pulling into her driveway the first time I went to her house, another car was also pulling in.  It was the middle school pastor and his family.  When I got to her back door, her husband greeted us.  I asked him if I was intruding on anything.  He told me they were going to see their son’s truck and get his stuff out of it.  The pastor was going with them and his wife and kids were staying at their house to watch over Grandmother.

I told my friend that I wanted to minister to her, and I brought my million dollar vacuum to clean their house.  So while they were gone, I began vacuuming their house.  I asked her before she left if she wanted me to do her son’s room.  She said it was okay.  When I got to her son’s room, I thought about the words on the song “We Are Standing on Holy Ground.”  Not that it was Holy ground, but I was trying to be respectful while being in his room.  I can’t really put it into words of how I was feeling.  On his desk were a lot of thing….his name tag from work, a graduation card, and graduation pictures.

They came back from seeing his truck.  She said it was hard, but both she and her husband commented that seeing the truck helped them to understand things better.  The door frame and windshield had bucked in near the headrest which caused their son’s fatal head and neck injuries.

I wanted to clean more, but I needed to go help Aunt June.  I told her to call me.  I knew she probably wouldn’t.  This thought got reconfirmed when I read a lady’s blog this week.  The lady wrote on her blog things not to say to someone who has lost a loved one.  This lady knew this all too well because she also lost her son.  She didn’t want people to say to call if they needed anything.  What she meant by this statement was instead of leaving a message saying that they were here, for them to actually show up to the door and be here.  She was saying to follow up with our words.

A special devotion

Yesterday, I went to her house to drop off my devotion book and a sympathy card.  There was a devotion that I wanted her to read that I thought would minister to her.  When I got inside her house, her daughter called her because she needed to be picked up from the orthodontist.  I asked her if she wanted me to stay or come with her.  I rode with her, and we talked on the way.  She was telling me about all the people who came up to her at the funeral home and told her so many neat things she did not know about her son.  Several people told her that her son was the only person that would speak to their child.  She also was told of a child he tutored while he was out riding his bike.  He was such a servant and did not want to be in the spotlight.  To give testimony of the number of people at the visitation, the visitation was from 5:00-8:00 p.m., and when I asked her what time she left, it was a few minutes before midnight.

His funeral

The next day was the funeral, and again I prayed for grace, peace, and mercy for the family and for people to come to know Christ during the funeral.  At was neat to see all the people there.  His life touched so many people.  There were a lot of students there from several schools.  Several pastors spoke during the funeral including the Children’s Pastor, Middle School Pastor, High School Pastor, our and Senior Pastor. 

I did not know her son very well, so my grief is different.   My grief is for my friend and what she and her family are going through; it is real nonetheless.   It made me think of the believers being the body of Christ.  “If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.” (NLT, 1 Corn. 12:26)

The visitation (part II)

 

My friend and her husband were standing at the head of their son’s casket.  I lady in line behind me said, “Can you imagine if that were your son?”  As I got closer to the casket, I noticed her son had on one of those trendy rubber bracelets imprinted with words on them.  I peered closer to read the description.  It read, “CLASS OF 2013.”

I spoke to my friend first.  She thanked me for the flowers and said she thought of me when she looked at them.  I told her I woke up at four o’clock, and then I started getting choked up, so I put my hands together to symbolize prayer.  I was crying now, and finished what I was trying to say.  I told her I stayed awake till 5:00.   She was glad I told her that because that was when she needed it (prayer).  I spent a good amount of time talking to her. 

I then hugged her husband and talked to him.  We have been in the same Sunday school class for over ten years, and we have been through so much together.  He said he had something for me, and he got a candy mint out of his pocket.   We laughed.  I bring mints to Sunday school class and occasionally pass them out.

The visitation (part I)

The visitation service was last night.  I have never been to a service where the ushers have to seat you in the chapel because there are so many people standing in line.  As the line went down, they moved a few rows of seated people to the standing line.  By the time we got closer to the front of the line, the pews were almost full.  Many students from his school were there as well as a lot of older people.

As we entered the room where the family was, the high school minister from our church was standing in the doorway.  At first I was teasing him by asking him if he was the official greeter.  He said he started talking to a few people then I guess he decided to continue.  We talked as we waited for the line to move, and he told me he never had a student to die.  It was real hard on him.  He went to the family’s house and as he was praying with the dad, he prayed three words and that was it.  He couldn’t pray anything else because of his emotions. 
 
I told him I had been praying for the students that would be coming to the service, and he made reference to the number of people praying.  He did not know if he would be able to articulate what he needed to say during the service.  I told him he would do just fine.

Struck a chord

His death has really struck a chord with me.  I guess it is because Ashton is about her son’s age, but I also grieve for them.  I again prayed for the Lord to give them grace, peace, and mercy.  I woke up around 4 a.m. and prayed a lot.  The kids that went to her son’s school came to my mind.  I prayed they would come to the funeral service and hear about Christ and their need for a personal relationship with Jesus.  We may never know the reason for his death, but maybe it was for his classmates to hear about Jesus.

A friend of mine wrote a note to the family on facebook last night.  It was a nice tribute, and it made me cry.  One of the things she said was, “You raised a young man who completed his godly purpose on this earth in only 18 years.  It takes so many of us so many more years to do the same.”  What an amazing statement! 

U What are we doing with our years?  U

 

"Just like that (part II)"

I arrived back at their house around 5:00, and my friend was standing in the front yard talking to our minister of music.  When I hugged her she said, “Can you believe this is happening?”  She has been through so much over the years.  Her mom and dad passed away, and her brother has prostate cancer.  I was quiet and listened as she told me the things her son had done that day, and then she told me the details of the wreck.  Her strength was incredible.  She was so strong.

We went inside and I talked with her for a while.  She was thankful for the family trip they took last summer.   Their trip was for three weeks, and they travelled out West in an RV.  Her son put together a DVD of the trip and added music to it.  They played the DVD while I was there.  I watched part of it, and then talked to other family members before I left.

It was 7:00 when I left, and my husband had already eaten, so I picked some food up for myself and Ashton.  Of course, I wanted to eat with him after going through this whole ordeal, but I had a difficult time sitting at the table without crying.  As I was sitting there, I felt bad that I could hug him and my friend could not hug her son.  I got up from the table and went to the bathroom so I would not cry in front of him.  I made it through dinner with a tear or two, but I don’t think he noticed.

I went to bed early so I could cry.  There gets to be a point where I have to stop crying because my face hurts so much.  I learned to take Tylenol before bed so that my face isn’t killing me the next morning.

"Just like that"

 

“Just like that” were words that came to my mind a few times yesterday.  A friend’s 18 year old son was killed in a wreck Sunday night.  He just graduated this year from high school and was to start college this week.  I did not personally know him, but he was a very smart kid who was talented in the field of technology.  He helped at church and various other places with the lights and sound during productions, and he was very talented with his computer knowledge.

He spent pretty much the whole day at various church functions on Sunday, and that night after taking his girlfriend home, his truck veered off the road, went into a ditch, hit a culvert, overturned, and he suffered fatal injuries.  
 
My husband was telling me this about his death while we were talking on the phone.  I was on a road near their house, so made a U-turn and diverted from my plans.  When I got to their house, there were a lot of people there, but my friend, her husband and their daughter were at the funeral home.  I stayed for short while because I was told it would probably be a very long time before they would be home because they had a lot of decisions to make.

I was originally on my way to help Aunt June for the afternoon before I got the call, so after I left their house, I went to help her.  While Aunt June and I were out running our errands, she needed me to run into the grocery store.  I was about to pass the flower section and stopped in my tracks because the flowers were beautiful, and I wanted to buy some for the family.

I prayed pretty much the whole day for the Lord to give them grace, peace, and mercy. My prayers changed as I was on the way to their house.  I prayed for the Lord to give me abundant strength.  I wanted to be strong for them and did not want to break down and cry.    

My new “job”

Uncle Jim and Aunt June had picked out a nice two bedroom apartment at a retirement facility to live in before he passed away.  Ever since Uncle Jim died, Aunt June needs someone to help care for her because she has Parkinson’s disease. 

One of her daughters asked me if I would like to be a part-time caregiver for her.  There are four of us, and I do whatever she needs me to do.  I take her to the grocery store, shopping, and take her dog to the vet. The two things that are especially designated to me are to do her medicines each week and do her hair.  I kinda think it is funny that I do her hair.  I wash it, blow dry it, and curl it.  I was a tomboy when I was younger, and  I don’t think I have ever used a curling iron in my life! 

For Now...

 

For now, this is my last post until I go through another death.  I have enjoyed writing everything down as this is what I felt the Lord wanted me to do.  Thank you for following along.  Hopefully, you have benefited and what you have read will help you in the future:)  ~Judy

Afterword (part IV)

Mom loved Jesus with all of her heart.  In talking with Aunt Julie, she said our Christian legacy goes back a long way.  Our family legacy won’t get us into Heaven.  It has to be each person making a personal decision to ask Jesus into their heart as personal Lord and Savior.

(NLT, Matthew 7.24)      “Anyone who listens to my teaching and obeys me is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock.  Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse, because it is built on rock.  But anyone who hears my teaching and ignores it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand.  When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will fall with a mighty crash.”

We are that house.  Christ needs to be our foundation because the winds are going to blow and beat upon our house.  Life is tough, therefore we need Christ as our Lord and Savior, so when the storms of life come (like death) we will stand firm.   

U  U  WILL YOU WALK BY FAITH?  U  U

Afterword (part III)

Another thing I regret is that when times were real hard, like the night I described under, “This night,” I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world now because as hard as the night was, at least she was still alive.  At least, she was still there with me.  As hard as times are, lean on God for your strength, and ask Him to help you through and give you peace.  Cherish the moments, as hard as they are, while your loved one is still with you.

If you are reading this book because you have a loved one or friend that is terminally ill or a loved one that is dying, I grieve for you.  I got teary eyed even writing that sentence.  I know what you are going through is hard, and I don’t have the answers, we have only trod down the same path.  The one person that does have all the answers is Jesus.  Be comforted by God’s words from (NLT, Philippians 4.13), “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” (NLT, Deuteronomy 31.8) states, “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”  

Tonight, I feel like Mary, Jesus’ mother because I am experiencing the same feeling I think Mary went through.  Why did God choose me?  I am just an ordinary girl.  Can I do what You want me to accomplish?  How will I get it done?  What will people think?

Then I feel honored.  Honored is not a strong enough word to describe the feeling I had tonight.  What an indescribable feeling that I have never had before.  I am just in awe of how God would choose me to accomplish such a great task.

Afterword (part II)

 

I have very few regrets.  A regret I have is I did not get to tell Mom everything I wanted to tell her.  Nana has also cried as I was talking with her because she did not get to tell her everything as well.  Because Mom did not want to talk about her feelings, I did not get to tell her how much I loved her and tell her how she has been an awesome mom.

Jennifer sent Mom a card a few days before she died.  The card got to Mom’s house a few days after Mom passed away, so she never got the chance to read it.   

In the card, Jennifer told Mom that she was the best mom and in her constant thoughts.  She also told Mom she was an awesome example seen by others.  Jennifer wrote about a friend that told her our family has always been an inspiration to her with Mom leading the pack.

Jennifer told Mom she was so very thankful for her and wanted to tell her again.  These were thoughts written down that were important for her to be able to tell Mom. 

She said the last time she talked to Mom on the phone it was real hard for Mom to talk.  Mom was dehydrated and struggled to talk, so it was awkward because Jennifer had to carry the conversation.  She did not get to tell her all the things she wanted to, nor did she at the last visit to Mom’s house.  It was so difficult with Jennifer having to stay up with Mom most of the night.

 

U If you have a family member, friend, or a loved one that is dying, if you can, can tell them all the wonderful things you want to tell them? U                         

U  If you are terminally ill or dying, if you can, would you let your family members tell you all the wonderful things they need to? U

Afterword (part I)

 

 

The true intent of the publishing of this book only God will know.  I have felt bombarded through sermons lately as though Jesus was speaking to me personally about publishing this book.  One of the last sermons I heard spoke of Simon Peter and how Jesus got in Simon Peter’s boat then pushed the boat into the water.  Jesus told Peter to let down his nets after he fished all night and did not catch any fish.  Peter responded, “But because you say so, I will…...” (NIV, Luke 5.5).  He cast his nets, and they were so full of fish, the nets started to tear.  Another boat came to help, but the nets were so full, the boats started to sink.  This book was written because I am being obedient to what I feel the Lord wants me to do.  “Because you say so Lord, I will.”  God has accomplished His will in ways I will never know through this book.

I wrote this book because I felt the Lord’s prompting to do so.  It was not the Lord’s will that He physically heal Mom.  So, here I was with my journal and I did not know what I was supposed to do with it.  I asked my Sunday school class, the faculty, staff, and students at my school to begin to pray for the Lord’s wisdom in His prompting me to write this book.  The answer has been clear to me within the last week.  Walk by Faith: Tackling the Tough Questions Concerning Death was written for His glory and to bring others to know Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior.  The book will also minister to people going through the death of a loved one or having a loved one or friend with a terminal illness.

I have tried not to “mask” certain issues, so you could see the “whole picture.”  If I would have “masked” the book, I don’t feel you would have gleaned enough useful information.   I have omitted certain comments said by family members in order to try and not upset them.  I did not want to step on anyone’s toes.  Also, I have tried to be careful what information I thought should be included and took out information I thought was not necessary. 

The final chapter?

I have cried a lot as I have edited this book because as I re-read, it brings back so many hard times.  There are so many events which will forever be etched on my mind.  Mom’s final breaths and her final moments are etched on my mind as they just happened yesterday.  The moments I prayed over her as she slept and prayed for her to be healed are also still vivid.  The comments she said to me like, “Breathe for me,” get played over in my mind.  I can’t look back yet to reflect on the good times, the good moments.  It is as though they have temporarily vanished.  Only time will continue to heal.

The one thing that is forever etched on my mind as well is my favorite verse, (NLT, Romans 8.28).  “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”   It helps me through the hard times because God is still in control and loves us very much.

Before I read the devotion that spoke about me being, “Only one little insignificant person in this great big world,” I commented to my sisters and friends that I was just a p.e. teacher.  Writing a book is “out of the box” for me.  Then I remember the quote again from the January 8^th, devotion, “Don’t ponder over the what-ifs or whys, neither question your abilities.”

In the book, Can One Person Make A Difference? it states, “When God uses individuals, He doesn’t leave them alone to perform their difficult tasks.  He’s the strength in their arms and the voice on their lips.  If God is in it, anything is possible!”  This is where Satan wants to jump in and convince me I can’t do anything.  He would love nothing more than for me to listen and for me to not do the will of God.  My God is greater.

As I wrote earlier, I felt honored the Lord chose me to do this work, and in the last devotion it stated, “What do You see in me that I could be used to serve You, Lord?  I feel honored that You called me.”

In the last couple of days, I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  The hardest part of finishing this book, especially the tedious work of editing, is almost done, and I have begun to get excited.  I am excited what the Lord will do with this book.  I read a confirmation of those feelings last night in the devotional.  “How exciting it will be in this venture as I obey Your call and see great things happen in Your name!”

U  WHAT IS YOUR STORY OF HIS GLORY?  U

U CAN YOU WALK BY FAITH?  U

Dad the caregiver

I asked Dad what were some of the special things he did for Mom while she was sick.  These are the things he told me:

She enjoyed going in her wheelchair to the Coast Guard Station at the beach and sitting on the end of the wooden ramp.  She enjoyed watching the tide come in and out.

Mom enjoyed eating breakfast in a restaurant at the pier.  She would sneak biscuits out of the restaurant to feed the seagulls while in her wheelchair.

Mom liked to go to the grocery store because she liked to see her friends there.  It was a social gathering.

She enjoyed sitting on the back patio while watching the bird feeder and listening to the chimes.

They drove near the base of one of the bridges and sat in the car out at the pilot boat dock so she could look out.  It is beautiful there.  Pelicans and seagulls sit on top of the old wooden pylons, and the sun sets behind the pylons.

On one of the last trips to the Mayo Clinic, instead of taking I-95 back home, they took A1A up the Coastal Highway.  They also rode on the car ferry. They went to Fernandina and ate at Spanky’s Restaurant on the water on the marsh side.  They sat on the deck for a long time.

She loved watching the squirrels eat the sunflower seeds he placed on the window seal by her bed.

  U What can you do for your loved one that they can no longer do?   U

Comments from Dad

 

“Brenda was so helpful.  She was an angel.  She made things so much easier.  Elaine was so comfortable around her.  She looked after her so well.”

“Elaine was happy until the day she died.  We thought she was going to last a long, long time.  She started feeling a lot better with the feeding tube.  She went down so fast; we did not have a clue.  We were planning on things months down the road.”

“She was worried about the girls (my sisters and I) for a long time, getting the things all sorted out.  I was just doing what she wanted to do.”

“She wanted to die at the Hospice place.  (They would take her over there as things got worse.)  If she would have known she was dying, she would have said something.  She did not want to put a stigma on the house; this is where she died.  She is buried out yonder, because she did not want us to visit her grave all the time.”

"I wish she would have had a dog.   I think it would have been very comforting to her to have a dog.”  He commented that he thought people with a terminal illness should have a dog because they would be comforted by it.

 

The things I learned from Dad

 

I sat down with Dad and Claudia to try to glean any more valuable information I could pass on to you.  I knew it would not be easy for Dad to talk about these issues, but knew I should.

U  He stressed you should not put something off whether it be discussions, decisions, or major things.

U  Don’t put faith in the doctor’s time frame.  They just don’t know.  God is the only one who truly knows.  Mom died twelve days after she got her feeding tube.

U  He mentioned calling the social security office to claim a disability especially with Mom having ALS.  It took two to three months to get her first check.  She only got one disability check even though she could not work for a long time.  From her diagnosis to her death it was only about nine months.  You can look it up on the web and search under social security disability.

U He got information from the ALS Association of Georgia concerning resources and information.

U  He got a power of attorney because Mom couldn’t sign her name.  His financial advisor suggested they get joint accounts because it makes it much easier.

U  If there are investments, you need to put on it a POD (Payable On Death).  A POD is basically any account, investment, etc. when you die it is given to a specified person.  You don’t want to go through a trustee, or a banker to disburse money.

 

U What have you learned from reading this book?  U