Tuesday, January 15, 2013

When Daddy is Gone


When Dad dies, the house will belong to the four girls.   To help Claudia, he put in his will that she gets to stay in the house for as long as she wants.  I think this is the right decision.  Some of the foggy areas will be when there are major repairs to be made to the house, or who should pay the taxes.  Dad said some things are POD “Payable on Death” to Claudia, and some things will be POD to the four girls.

U  Are the loved one’s children being financially taken care of if they were dependent on the loved one’s financial support? (I know of a divorced man who was tragically killed.  His new wife received all the support from the community.  His grown daughter had been receiving financial aid from her father, yet no one was helping her.)  U

U  Are there family traditions you can help a friend or family member with since the loved one has passed away? (This same man’s son would put up the Christmas tree with his dad.  After his dad’s death, the son did not want to continue this tradition without his dad.  The son also wanted to hang lights on the house, but his dad did not want to.  A family friend found out and surprised the son by decorating the family tree and put lights on the outside of the house.  When he saw the decorations, he just stood there looking at the lights.  He was in awe!)  U     

The one issue I will not have to worry about is Daddy’s belongings.  Things, they are just what they are, things.  But when they belonged to your loved one, they become more than just things.  The belongings become the only things one has left of the loved one except memories.  Every once in a while, I will hold Mom’s painting and rub it where she signed her name.  I will smell the gloves she wore last to smell her scent.  I even kiss her picture in the frame.  These things bring me some satisfaction and bring her closer to me.

U  If the loved one passes away, can you be thoughtful and share his/her belongings? (The belongings are just as important to other family members as they are to you.) U 

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